


Prompt 23.5 (Helena 4)

by Yoselin



Series: L&L Tumblr Prompts [30]
Category: Love & Legends (Visual Novel)
Genre: Chicago!Helena AU, F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-27
Updated: 2018-10-27
Packaged: 2019-08-08 09:28:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,049
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16426772
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Yoselin/pseuds/Yoselin
Summary: Direct continuation to prompt 23.Helena Chicago AU (Helen Kay) where MC starts having nightmares and Helen starts a conversation.





	Prompt 23.5 (Helena 4)

The rain patters against the window as the world around us awakens. The sounds of cars begin to register and lights can be seen through the thin sheet of rain coming down. Chicago, after a long sleep, returns to life as a new day starts.   
I wish I could echo the sentiment.   
My hands press to my eyelids and I take a deep breath. I have suffered yet another sleepless night and am exhausted. My throat is raw from all the screaming and my head begins to ache.   
Ever since coming to Chicago a few weeks ago, I had suffered countless bouts of night terrors. They came in short blasts and never let me sleep. I would see glimpses of the final battle in my mind, see my friends falling dead at my feet, and see Helena’s body sprawled on the floor after taking a blow meant for me. I could never rouse myself from sleep in time to stop the screaming that followed the horrid images.   
My knees tuck into my chest and I stare out the window. The rain which usually soothes me with its sounds now only irritates. Helena adored listening to the sounds of the storm, yet she is no longer here.   
I close my eyes and lean against the headboard. As always, thinking about her makes the ache in my chest worse.   
It has been weeks since I’ve been staying with Helen, yet I have made no progress. Helen does not remember me, she sees me as nothing but a friend she just met, and her presence wounds more than it soothes. I long for her, long for all that I have lost, yet I cannot have her. She is always out of reach.   
From deep inside the hotel room, I can hear her getting ready. My room door is open just a crack and I catch glimpses of her as she busies around the room. She’s using her bizarre device, a cellphone, and talking quietly into it. Bits of her conversation drift towards me.   
“I’m staying in Chicago for another week or so...my show is on break...miss you too, Alan... yes I promise to bring you a souvenir...”  
I trace my fingers across the window and watch shapes appear in their wake. The condensation collecting against the glass serves a perfect medium for art. I find drawing cools some of the pain inside me.   
Helen is so different from Helena, yet they are similar. Their appearance is identical, their mannerisms are the same, and their hearts both beat with kindness and light. Everything about her reminds me of what I have lost-  
And what I have sacrificed for being here.   
A memory of the Witch Queen’s crown flashes in my mind. I wonder what the evil thing does now. Has Altea been able to find it and destroy it? Is it still terrorizing the world and seeking another broken girl to shape into something terrible?  
A shiver runs down my spine. I do not regret my trade, I could never regret finding Helena, but I do worry. Rather than purging the world of the evil that took my lover, I have fallen into its embrace and used it to bring her back. I wonder, does that make me twisted of morals or broken of heart?  
A knock sounds on my door disrupting my thought process. Helen opens the door slightly and pokes her head in. A soft smile is on her lips and I savor the way she says my name.   
“Morning,” she greets.   
Satisfied that I am decent, she opens the door wider for her to step in.   
Her long blonde hair has been twisted and pinned to the top of her head with a beautiful hair pin, she wears a long white dress with tiny stitch pattern on the hem, and her arms are covered with a fuchsia sweater perfect for the weather outside. For the hundredth time, I am captivated by her beauty and my mouth dries.   
She walks like a goddess, delicate and powerful, and sits herself at the edge of my bed. Her mouth is still up in a breathtaking smile, and warmth shines in her gaze.   
“Did you sleep tonight?” She inquires, her tone is bordering on concern.   
I press a finger to my lips and keep quiet. My throat is still raw from all the screaming and I hope I did not keep her up last night. I have been trying to silence my sounds of terror during nightmares for her sake.   
“Fine,” I reply. I have to clear my throat to shed the traces of sleep-or lack of rather.   
Helen’s lips thin in concern. She reaches out a hand and tilts my jaw up. The light in the room is dim yet she can see the dark spots under my eyes clearly. Further worry pinches her brow.   
“I worry for you,” she admits under her breath, “You have so many monsters plaguing you.”  
Monsters. That’s a word for it. My hands clench at the sheets under me.   
A monster tore my beloved from me. Another monster tore the space between dimensions in order to send me here to her other half. And a different monster betrayed her friends and morals to get here just for another chance at her love.   
I shake my head lightly prompting Helen to let go of my chin. As soon as her touch is gone, I miss it.   
“I slept fine,” I lie. It is an obvious untruth and Helen seems not to buy it. In the short span of knowing me, she has caught on to my ways. She can distinguish a lie from the truth just like my Helena.   
Quiet descends around us and I cannot tell whether it is pleasant or uncomfortable. The sounds of the rain and of our breaths are the only thing that fills the room. Helen and I are each thinking of different things.   
By the way she is looking at me, blue eyes clouded with concern, I can tell she is worried for me. She has only known me for a few weeks, but our connection to one another is strong enough for her to care. She feels something for me even if she does not realize why. A link exists between us, something that transcends dimensions, and it is felt with our every breath.   
I know she feels it, I can tell by the way her hands absentmindedly reach for me throughout the day, and do not know whether the thought brings me peace or torment. To know that Helen feels something for me is a gift, but to understand that I cannot act on it is a curse. I cannot, in good conscience, tell her about our past together, she would not believe me and she cannot consent to something she does not remember, so I am forced to deal with my heartache alone.   
Helen breaks the silence and stares out the window. The light drizzle in the morning is starting to clear up. Some sunlight peeks out shyly from the rain clouds.   
“You can tell me anything, you know?” She meets my gaze head on. “If you want to talk about your nightmares, I am here.”  
I bite the inside of my lip. The fact that she wants to soothe me is touching, but I have to keep quiet. To tell her of the horrid imagery I see, the death and the decay of my old life, is too complicated to get into. I cannot remind her of the twisted world we left behind.   
My Helena was tormented by her abuser and war. I want to preserve Helen’s light for as long as possible. If she remembers the past, I will tell her. If she does not, I will let her continue to live in peace.   
“I do not remember them,” I force a smile at her. Smiling through the pain is an art of which I have mastered.   
I get up from my bed and stretch. I feel out of place next to Helen. She always wears the best of clothing, looks like a goddess descended in all that she is, while I wear nothing but cheap hand-me-downs in the form of dark pants and blue shirts.   
Helen raises an eyebrow.   
“You sleep in your street clothing,” she notes. There is a pause between her words and then she continues. “What do you expect to run from?”  
My past. My actions. Myself. The list is endless.   
I take a deep breath. “I have a bad past.”  
I do not elaborate more than that and she does not pry. Instead, she stands. Her hands reach for my arms.   
There are scars there from the old war. Jagged lines dot my body where blades and magic blasts had hurt me. The marks are so imprinted on my skin that I can count them were I to wish.   
Helen’s soft fingers trace them. She tries to soothe the flesh although the pain of them has long since become internal. In a way, it is bitter. I won a war against the Witch Queen only to fight another in my own mind. It seems I can never be allowed rest.   
“Whatever you endured, you are safe now,” Helen whispers.   
I tense.   
_Whatever you endured, you are safe now._  
How many times had I whispered that same phrase to Helena? How many times had I held her in my arms and kissed every scar the Witch Queen had left behind? How many times had I promised to keep her safe, praised her for surviving, and pledged my love for her?  
Something twists inside me, the dull ache in my chest begins to throb, and I swallow.   
In the end, I had promised her safety so many times yet had broken my promise. She died protecting me and that is a pain that I will never escape.   
Helen’s touch suddenly becomes vital. I rest my hand on top of hers and seek out the familiar spark that flashes when our skin comes into contact. That connection between us, the one that brings me so much warmth in the middle of frigid nights, hums and grows stronger.   
“Thank you,” I whisper. I mean it. A thank you for being here, a thank you for caring about me even though the memory of our past is still not unlocked to her, and a thank you for being who she is.   
Helen’s smile is soft and she almost leans into me. She feels the connection between us too. My touch is enough to soothe her in the way her touch is enough to calm me.   
“Always,” she promises. It is not a vow she takes lightly, I can tell in the way her gaze seem to bolden in intensity, and I archive it to memory.   
All too soon, she lets go. She steps away from me and turns to her phone. The strange device is still on and it’s internal clock reads late morning. She bites her lip.   
“There is something I have to tell you,” she admits. “My stay in Chicago is only going to extend for another week or so. My producer called me a few nights ago and told me that my show is going to begin filming its third season soon. They want me back in Los Angeles next week.”  
I take in her words and bite my cheek once more. The skin there is raw from all the times I have done it already. A little part of me twists in pain.   
I only have one more week with Helen then. Just one more week to enjoy her presence before I lose her like Helena too.   
“Oh,” I muster out. I keep the emotion out of my voice lest she hear my torment.   
Helen continues on quickly, almost like she is afraid to talk herself out of it, and the words leave her lips in a jumbled heap. “Iwantyoutocomewithme.”  
I have to decipher the long sentence spoken all at once for a pause. When it’s meaning registers, I blink.   
“You want me to go with you?” I cannot keep the surprise from my voice.   
Helen nods, a small spot of red is on her cheeks. “I know it is unusual to just ask a stranger you just met a few weeks ago to come with you across the country, trust me Alan tried to talk me out of it warning me about the fact that you might be a serial killer...but I feel like I know you?”  
She closes her eyes and the color on her face darkens. She almost sounds embarrassed to continue. “I mean, it’s weird, right? I’ve been having dreams lately, weird ones, and they all have you in common. I dream about a castle and ice and feel dread. Then I dream about you and feel warmth. I can’t explain it, it’s bizarre, but I know that there’s something there. You are familiar to me and I feel like I know you, but I don’t know how.”  
She finishes her statement and takes a breath. My own heart begins to race.   
She remembers then. She might not remember the specifics, but she remembers me. Our connection is strong enough to transcend worlds.   
I draw in a breath. “I know what you mean.”  
Helen bites her lip and looks at me. She takes me in and I wonder what she sees.   
Does she see the broken girl with circles under her eyes due to the lack of sleep, the girl shattered by war and grief, the girl who awakens screaming for her lover to not die?   
Or does she see something else? Does she see another chance as I see her? Does she me and think that we could be something more, have another chance at happiness?  
I do not know the answer to that, but, whatever she sees, she edges closer. Our knees press together as she takes a seat before me. Her hands seek out mine and her thumbs stroke my knuckles absentmindedly.   
“I can’t explain it, but I know you. You remind me of something I feel like I lost and didn’t realize I needed to survive. I don’t have family, I don’t have friends besides Alan, and I don’t have lovers. I have no one that links me to anything, even my house has the bare minimum of decorations, but I know there is something about you...” She draws in a breath, “I created the Helen Show because I wanted to help heal people. I thought that if I was so broken inside then I might as well help fix others and see if that helps me in turn. I lived my life for so long feeling incomplete, like a part of me was missing, but I feel whole with you. I can’t explain it, I don’t even understand it some nights, but I feel like you’re important to me and I want to see where this takes us. You run from things, you have a past you don’t want to find you, and I think Los Angeles could be another chance for you. What do you think?”  
Another chance.   
My breath hitches and my eyes begin to burn.   
She is another chance. The life I left behind has run its course. When Helena was torn from me, the only thing that kept me going was to avenge her. Now that she has been avenged, my old life feels like a book that has run out of words to say. A door has closed on that chapter in my life, and this new door is opening itself for me.   
Helen is my second chance. This world, whether it is Chicago or Los Angeles, is my new start. I can make myself anew here, carve out a better future, and heal. There is so much grief in me, a hole has been torn into my psyche and I feel it in the very depths of my soul, but perhaps being with Helen will mend it.   
Helen is my Helena. We are soulmates and our love transcends dimensions, it beats like a heart between us, and I know paradise when I am with her. Another chance, another life, is all I want. If the gods give me nothing more, then I beg they at least give me this.   
Realizing that she is still awaiting an answer, I exhale. “I would love to go with you. Another chance...”  
I drift off and feel the burning in my eyes become stronger. A tear slips down and another chases after it. Helen reaches out and wipes my tears. It is such a Helena gesture that we both pause. Whether she realizes it or not, she is starting to remember her old self.   
The dreams she is having are memories, the connection between us is a remnant of our old life, and her actions are beginning to reflect who she used to be. Perhaps someday she will remember her past, yet I do not know if that would be a relief or a pain.   
“Another shot then,” Helen murmurs, “For the both of us. Together.”  
Another chance. I savor that in my mind. I can have a new beginning.   
The crown had promised me Helena and had plunged me into a foreign world for her as if to taunt me. However, it’s evil plans have been foiled.   
Despite its best attempts, I will be happy. There is a lot of pain in me, it exists like a second limb, but there is an endless world of possibilities here too. As long as Helen is at my side, I can have another opportunity for happiness. I can make a new life for myself in Los Angeles, one not concerned about loss and misery, and start anew.   
The possibility brings me endless peace. I close my eyes and savor it, see pictures of what my future with Helen could one day hold, and smile. It is my first true smile in a very long time.   
“Another chance,” I echo her words and my heart races. My hands squeeze hers in turn, and I feel our connection ignite. A vow sparks between us, something strong and holy, and I smile, “Together.”


End file.
